I wanted to talk to you about nostalgia. It's something that everyone is likely to experience at some stage and it's defined by being a wish or desire to return in thought to a former time in your life. It is sentimentality for the past and is typically a period or place that has happy personal associations. It is such a bittersweet feeling where you're longing for the past and things that have already happened in the hope that you'll feel more at ease with whatever is happening around you in the moment you're currently living in. While most people feel nostalgia when they watch a movie they used to watch a lot when they were younger or it's triggered by a familiar scent you wore on your favourite holiday, my relationship with nostalgia has become quite overwhelming over the last couple of years.
Truthfully, I've developed a love hate relationship with it. To refer to myself as being a sentimental person would be the biggest understatement of the year. Mixed with being overly dramatic, getting far too attached to places and people and having an undesirable fear of uncertainty, I find myself feeling overwhelmed with nostalgia all - the - time. And let me tell you that it's exhausting. I've always viewed it to be a defense mechanism where I'll constantly think about the past in order to escape the present moment. Having an A Level in Psychology certainly doesn't mean that I'm an expert when it comes to this kinda thing, believe me, but it's something that has been on my mind a lot over the last few months.
I love the comfort that comes with nostalgia and I think that's one of the reasons why I feel like I'm constantly living in the past. It's oddly reassuring to think about something that has already happened, whether it be good or bad, purely because no matter how hard you try it cannot be changed. Whereas the future is completely uncertain and no matter how much planning we do, it's extremely rare that everything will pan out exactly how you expect it to. And while I'm all for being spontaneous and looking forward to what the future may bring, I find it almost impossible not to cling onto the good moments that I've already lived through.
While the sensation of reliving moments from my past can bring me the greatest sense of comfort and familiarity, there is one reason in particular why I hate how time consuming the feeling of nostalgia can be. And that's simply because I worry that I'm being so caught up in what has already happened that I'm getting too distracted to create new moments in my life. The idea that I'm wasting all of my time reliving my past is terrifying to me and yet I'm constantly finding myself doing just that. Nostalgia is a wonderful thing but when it affects what's happening in my life right now then it starts to become a problem.
I don't fully understand what can cause nostalgia to occur so frequently but it's something that I am striving to gain a clearer understanding of and keep it under control this year. I really want to start living in the moment and appreciate things as they're happening and not 6 months down the line. This post is definitely on the personal side but it's like I've said before - this blog is my space to write about anything and everything that comes to mind. And who knows, maybe I'll reassure someone out there that they're not alone if they're also experiencing this kind of thing.
I hope you're all having a wonderful day and I'll see you all again very soon.
Lots of Love,
Meg X
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